Sunday, October 23, 2016

Dating

I've been far more intentional about dating all the boys in my life lately.  It started when I noticed Liam being more snuggly than usual, with him asking more of me.  While we always utilize Finn's nap time to do more "big kid" things, it's rare that we have outings just the two of us.  I knew we were due for a date!  However, I really have to woo Liam to get him out.  He is always hesitant to leave Conor & Finn behind, not wanting to miss out on fun with them.  But once it's just he & I, we fall right into a nice little rhythm.

I make sure to be completely present when we take these little outings.  I want to soak up every word he has to say.  His little mannerisms that sometimes go unnoticed when I'm wrangling two kids.  I want to slow down and enjoy things more while we don't have a rambunctious toddler that may be altering the mood.  I'm certain Liam's love language is hot chocolate, so I took him to a coffee shop downtown that had been on my list.  It did not disappoint!  The barista flame roasted his marshmallow and put it all in a mug just like mama's coffee.  We both ordered toast and then took our goodies upstairs where we took in the sights & sounds of the bustling shop on a Sunday morning.  The conversation flowed effortlessly as I sat & watched my first born in awe.  He's pretty amazing; I'm so proud of the young boy he is becoming.  Such a tender heart in that one.  The whole outing was good for the soul!  I think I needed that morning so much, possibly even more than Liam.

The one big take away I had from our morning was Liam telling me that he wished I would pick him up more.  Cue the tears (from me)!  He's a very touchy feely guy and loves to be snuggled/picked up all the time.  But often my hands are full, whether with bags or groceries, or with baby brother.  So that morning, I promised to say yes more often.  To say yes whenever he asks to be picked up for a hug, even if it's only for a moment.  One of the best dates I've had in awhile!


After my super successful date with Liam, the mom guilt hit; so of course, I had to take little Finny out later in the week too!  We have lots of us time while big brother is in school, but typically that time is filled with grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry... all the things that are easier to do with only one kid in tow.  And since I just couldn't get my mind off that same coffee shop, I took Finn back with me for more toast!  While Finn doesn't yet get to enjoy hot cocoa, he did nibble toast and enjoy lots of coffee shop snuggles.  Just slowing down & not running all over town was refreshing.  If I remember correctly, Liam started really enjoying special outings around age 2.  So I look forward to the time when Finn will begin to understand the specialness of a day date.



And once you start dating your boys, you just can't get enough.  So again last weekend, I took Liam to a REAL game.  He has been before, but not since he started playing soccer himself!  He was so into it.  I tried to announce the game as best as I could, so he could see all the players doing the same things he gets to do.  This little four year old gets pretty excited about corner kicks & throw ins!  He snacked on sour patch kids (and even saved some to bring home to Finn), I sipped on the biggest lime-a-rita of my life, and once again we chatted about all sorts of things.  This date's takeaway:  (I summarize) "The family sitting in front of us must have a van because they have so many kids.  We may need a van when we have another baby.  Actually we have an open seat for a sister baby, so we won't need a van.  But we can only have one more baby."  Some of our best talks; I love him!  And to remember our little outing, we bought Liam a REAL jersey of his own.  He can't wait to wear it to soccer practice!




And while I have loved all this one-on-one time with my little boys, Conor is not to be forgotten.  Without family close by it's not often that we have date nights, at least in the traditional sense.  But we do still try to find those kid-free moments to connect & catch up.  We often do this on nights when it's obvious the boys will be ready for bed early.  We feed them, bathe them, sleep them and then we pour the wine, order take out, & have a late night coffee table dinner just us.  Sometimes we don't actually eat until after 9pm, but being able to talk without interruption and eat as slow as we please is just blissful.   

With Finn nearly 18 months old, I know we will start leaving him with a sitter more often.  I look forward to dressing up & fancy nights out.  But I'm quite certain that nothing will beat our late night coffee table dinners.  Those nights are so us, and sometimes we'll even bust out the backgammon board and let our competitive sides show.  These evenings remind me of our pre-kid selves, just aged a good 10+ years, ha!

Now off to plan more special dates with my boys.  
I'm hoping they continue to involve lots of toast!

17 comments :

  1. What sweet and special dates! Such memorable times with your boys. I need to do that more often. It's difficult right now with Drew's work schedule, but that will hopefully slow down a bit after the Nascar season is over.

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  2. I'm such a huge fan of dating my ladies... as much as it rocks to hang as a fam sometimes that solo time is good for the soul...

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  3. Such a special time for you and each boy! I love how you are so intentional with each outing, and I have absolutely no doubt the boys will treasure these moments with you. So sweet.

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  4. This is so so sweet! And I love that Liam has a baby - sister to be exact, ha! - on his mind!

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  5. Aw! So sweet! I love the conversations you had with precious Liam. What a sweet boy. I love that he's ready for a sister baby specifically. ;) So glad you have set aside some time for dating the boys (and man!) in your life. :)

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  6. I love it, and I love that Liam said he wished you could hold him more. I mean break your heart but it's also so sweet and simple of a wish.

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  7. What sweet memories you're making with all 3 of your boys!! I love "just us big girls" dates as my 3 year old calls them!

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  8. This is so sweet, Laura. Your boys are so lucky to have such a fabulous mom and wife!
    We can relate to not having adult dates often, but when we do get them they are certainly cherished.
    Can't wait to see what other fun dates you and your boys have in store!

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  9. I absolutely love this. One on one time is SO important. It's definitely hard to do with 4 kids, but my husband and I try our hardest to make time for each child on a regular basis. Your boys are adorable!

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  10. This is just so sweet! I love that you're taking time to date your boys: they'll remember it forever.

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  11. I love everything about this.

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  12. love the late night coffee table dinners. i have a hunch that will be KC and I as well - we aren't dress up and go out to fancy dinners kind of people. take out is way more our style. love that you are dating all your boys, and oh my heartstrings when Liam said he wants to be picked up more. and 'But we can only have one more baby' hahaha. or, you can get a van ;)

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  13. Ok, you've TOTALLY inspired me. Tyson's behavior is definitely tied to the attention he receives, so I think some one-on-one time would do both he and I some good. He's similar to Liam in so many ways!! Also, planning a date night IN ASAP. Such fun little moments, those are some lucky boys to have you.

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  14. So sweet! Part of me thinks I don't need to do this with Noah since we get lots of one on one time, but there's something about doing something special versus our everyday activities!

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  15. Yes!! Solo dates are the best! I love these photos and I almost teared up when you talked about your conversation with Liam! He's such a sweet boy ❤️

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  16. How special! I only have one boy, but I agree that during the week, we can get too caught up with school work, errands, and chores around the house. A date sounds perfect! I love that you chose to bring both of your boys (separately of course) to a coffee shop! There's no better way to enjoy good conversation :) P.S. I wish I could still pick up my son... Enjoy those extra hugs!

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