Postpartum (Baby #3)

All of my postpartum experiences have been quite different.  With Liam, I had a lot of birth trauma, both physically & mentally.  I shed many many tears over the experience & the pain.  But in a short amount of time, I began to let all those feelings go.  It felt like a text book experience, at least from a hormonal standpoint.

With Finn, I definitely experienced more of the baby blues.  His birth was flawless, yet my emotions were all over the map.  I had a hard time delegating tasks after he was born, still wanting to do it all.  I hated missing out on adventures with Liam, especially in the early days.  I would get upset over the littlest things.  And even though I knew many of my feelings were irrational, I could not change them.  I still had those feelings.  I always touched base with and talked through all the emotions with my close friends & family.  They checked in with me often, making sure I was doing okay.  And eventually those baby blues faded as well.  But that experience left me a tad worried about how my emotions would play out after our third baby...

I am happy to say, that this postpartum time has been my best!  I bounced back to normal far more quickly and never really experienced the baby blues this time around.  I keep thinking that surely all those heavy emotions will hit me eventually, but here at 6 weeks postpartum, I'm still doing great!  I feel amazing both physically & mentally!

I think one of the big differences this time, is that I truly allowed myself time to heal & time to adjust to a new baby.  With my two previous births, I felt the need to be out & about immediately.  To be doing everything that I did before my baby was born.  For some (crazy) reason, I felt the need to prove (to no one) that childbirth nor a newborn would slow me down.  Why I did all this I am quite unsure.  This third time was different.  I accepted all the help that was offered.  I laid in bed snuggling my newborn as much as possible.  I delegated everything.  I allowed myself to be lazy.  It was the best decision ever!  I truly gave myself time to recover & time to bond with Kane.  Those days (weeks?) are time I will never get back.  He will never be that small again.  I'm so frustrated at myself for not allowing that time of grace with the first two.

During all those early relaxing, nursing, sleeping days, I decided to start a new series on Netflix.  I told myself it would something with a single season.  Nothing to binge on or get hooked on... But instead I started Gossip Girl!  First, how did I never watch this when it was on in college?!  It's about the best thing ever!  I am now obsessed with Penn Badgley; as in, I'm googling Penn Badly during a 4am feeding wondering what he looks like now, if he's married, has kids, etc.  Because I'm crazy!  Gossip Girl has taken over my life.  At 6 weeks postpartum, I'm in the beginning of Season 5.  That's quite impressive.  Hopefully once I finish the series, I'll get back to reading books, blogs, the news, etc.  But for now, it has taken over.  But hey, thanks Gossip Girl for entertaining me enough to allow me to stay in bed and heal properly!  And thanks for making those late night feedings a bit more tolerable.

On the physical side of things, I still have about 6-10 lbs to lose.  Although at this point, I'm not doing anything in particular to lose them.  In general, I'm a healthy eater; however, I do love my sweets.  I'm staying active with my boys and hoping a few more pounds may come off on their own.  But I may need to be a bit more conscious about what I eat and start getting some extra exercise as we head in to the holidays.  I do fit back in my skinny jeans though, so yay for that!  My stomach isn't flat by any means, but again, this time around I'm giving myself more grace.  This is all okay!  My body will return to what it once was, I just need to give it time.  And I would much rather focus on my three beautiful children, than spend any time worrying about my body.
I'm so happy to have felt more balanced after this recent birth!  It has been refreshing.  A huge thanks to Conor, my mom, & all our friends & neighbors who have lent a helping hand these past two months.  You all made it possible for me to transition wonderfully into being a mother of three.  Three boys!  I'm actually hoping to put together post about the transition to three soon!  Happy Tuesday friends!