All of my postpartum experiences have been quite different. With Liam, I had a lot of birth trauma, both physically & mentally. I shed many many tears over the experience & the pain. But in a short amount of time, I began to let all those feelings go. It felt like a text book experience, at least from a hormonal standpoint.
With Finn, I definitely experienced more of the baby blues. His birth was flawless, yet my emotions were all over the map. I had a hard time delegating tasks after he was born, still wanting to do it all. I hated missing out on adventures with Liam, especially in the early days. I would get upset over the littlest things. And even though I knew many of my feelings were irrational, I could not change them. I still had those feelings. I always touched base with and talked through all the emotions with my close friends & family. They checked in with me often, making sure I was doing okay. And eventually those baby blues faded as well. But that experience left me a tad worried about how my emotions would play out after our third baby...
I am happy to say, that this postpartum time has been my best! I bounced back to normal far more quickly and never really experienced the baby blues this time around. I keep thinking that surely all those heavy emotions will hit me eventually, but here at 6 weeks postpartum, I'm still doing great! I feel amazing both physically & mentally!
I think one of the big differences this time, is that I truly allowed myself time to heal & time to adjust to a new baby. With my two previous births, I felt the need to be out & about immediately. To be doing everything that I did before my baby was born. For some (crazy) reason, I felt the need to prove (to no one) that childbirth nor a newborn would slow me down. Why I did all this I am quite unsure. This third time was different. I accepted all the help that was offered. I laid in bed snuggling my newborn as much as possible. I delegated everything. I allowed myself to be lazy. It was the best decision ever! I truly gave myself time to recover & time to bond with Kane. Those days (weeks?) are time I will never get back. He will never be that small again. I'm so frustrated at myself for not allowing that time of grace with the first two.
During all those early relaxing, nursing, sleeping days, I decided to start a new series on Netflix. I told myself it would something with a single season. Nothing to binge on or get hooked on... But instead I started Gossip Girl! First, how did I never watch this when it was on in college?! It's about the best thing ever! I am now obsessed with Penn Badgley; as in, I'm googling Penn Badly during a 4am feeding wondering what he looks like now, if he's married, has kids, etc. Because I'm crazy! Gossip Girl has taken over my life. At 6 weeks postpartum, I'm in the beginning of Season 5. That's quite impressive. Hopefully once I finish the series, I'll get back to reading books, blogs, the news, etc. But for now, it has taken over. But hey, thanks Gossip Girl for entertaining me enough to allow me to stay in bed and heal properly! And thanks for making those late night feedings a bit more tolerable.

So very glad to hear this round was better. I'm not a mom, so no real advice, but as a woman try not to be too frustrated with your past self and not giving yourself time. Those two 'too quick' back to real life showed you how important you needed to slow down and be just a mama to your boys. I'm so glad people were there for you when you needed them. I'm honestly sad I never read Liam's birth story. I'll have to find it
ReplyDeleteGG IS THE BEST! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! So over the top, so crazy. I'd hate him in real life but I have a HUGE crush on Chuck Bass.
Yay! This is so beautiful and amazing to read - well done mama bear! I felt exactly the same after having our Zoe - amazing what you learn to do and not to do after the first two rounds... x
ReplyDeleteI binged Call the Midwife. I couldn't help myself!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear!! Also, thankful for the insight as I approach this phase again too. I've heard from a few friends a healthy dose of grace for yourself comes with #3--definitely praying for it also. :) You've always seemed to slide so naturally into the momma role, glad it's been a wonderfully savored experience this time.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're feeling wonderful and delegating tasks to others this time around. When I had Lewie, I did the same as you initially did. I wanted to prove that I could be "super mom" and do everything--exercise, write, travel, etc. What silliness! Maybe I would have learned like you did during baby number three... So glad to hear your soaking up every moment and relaxing with your baby. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me SO happy! I am thrilled to hear this and currently have a huge smile on my face while typing. ALSO - ALL THE GG FEELS! I binged it when I was home with Miss A and even my hubs got hooked! We loved it and were so sad when we finished it - seriously, how did I never watch that series?! GG reunion please!!! haha :)
ReplyDeletePostpartum is such a emotionally charged time! Thankful Ive never had baby blues but with this third kid everything feels more natural and easy; maybe its experience or lack of “uptightness”, but Ill take it!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you posted this -- it is BY FAR my biggest fear of having a second! I was stuck in such a dark place for a while, and I've promised myself that if it happens again I'll ask for help. But it's awesome to hear that it may not happen again! So glad you've been feeling good and giving yourself some grace! You totally look like you're rocking it!
ReplyDeleteI watched Gossip Girl late too. I loved that show. Sooooo good. Let me know when you finish the series so we can talk about it. You are doing soooo good with your postpartum. I love how you gave yourself grace this time around.
ReplyDeleteI love that you're giving yourself that grace so many (myself included) failed to do. Enjoy every. single. moment. I truly wish I'd enjoyed those first days/weeks/months with my babies more, and spent less time worrying about silly stuff (like how to stuff my body in pre-baby clothes).
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