Monday, December 18, 2017

Grandpa: 98 Years Young

Today would have been my grandpa's 98th birthday.  Sadly, he passed on last Friday, just a few days before.  So tonight I raise a glass of champagne (one of his favorites) in his memory.  

I've been missing him & my entire family terribly over the past week!  Many of you may have seen on Instagram, that I flew home to Spokane to see him two weekends ago.  He was quite ill and only seemed to be getting worse.  I was worried that if he didn't make it until Christmas, I would never have the chance to introduce him to Kane or to say goodbye.  I decided to make a last minute trip home, and I'm so happy that I did.  Initially I made the trip just for me.  To have some sort of closure.  I wanted to see his smile, remember his voice.  Hold his hand.  Give him hugs.  Say one last "I love you."

What I didn't quite foresee, is how important my visits would be for my grandpa.  He has just the sweetest smile; he's known for it!  And baby Kane brought out that smile again & again.  Babies can be so healing.  You cannot look at them and not smile!  Thankfully Kane was super calm & relaxed for nearly all of our visits.  And the best part was how sweetly he would nestle in with my grandpa.  It was the most heart warming thing.  And there was something so poignant about the moment.  About seeing someone in their final days in this world with someone so brand new to it.  It brought joy to all of us.  And having 4 generations together one last time was something pretty special too.

My grandpa commented on what a good baby Kane was.  How soft his little hands were.  How happy he was.  My grandpa has such a tender soul, especially in his older years, and it was so apparent during his time with Kane.  We became closest during my college years.  He was so quiet when my grandmother was around, but after she passed, he opened up more.  Our relationship blossomed & flourished over the past 10 years.  He loved taking me out to dinner when I was in town and often had a bottle of my favorite champagne chilled.  He always sent one of my favorite candies with my mom when she came to visit, and he never forgot birthdays.  He was thoughtful & intentional.  Never one for many words, especially not on the phone.  When I said my goodbyes after the last visit at the hospital, I told him that I would see him again at Christmas.  And I so hoped it would be true.  But a big part of me knew it was our final goodbye.  He teared up, as did I.  And that moment will forever be with me.

I miss him.  Lately he sneaks into my thoughts more often than he had before.  Over the last month, I was used to daily updates from my brother & mom.  I always knew how he was doing.  I definitely feel that absence now that he's gone.  And not being with the rest of my family during this time of mourning is so tough.  I really struggle with living away from family.  Thankfully we are going back for a visit just two days after Christmas, and I cannot wait.  This Christmas will be a little somber without his presence, but I'm sure it will be filled with many memories.  Stories will be told.  Memories will be shared.  Home videos will be watched.

A huge thank you to all for the sweet messages.  They truly have brightened my days over the past week.  Thank you thank you thank you.


  1. Dearest, friend. I am truly so very sorry. Losing such a kindred soul is crushing, especially during the holidays. I'm praying for you and your family, that God may continue to wrap y'all in his arms and grant you the grace needed to cry, grieve, be angry and laugh thinking of memories. What a special moment you had near the end, with Kane and your grandfather. Someone so young and so old is poignant and the circle of life. Lots of LOVE!

  2. What a fantastic way to remember your Grandpa. I'm so sorry for your loss, but these pictures are going to be great to have for the rest of your life. I can't imagine the joy you brought when you came home to visit.

  3. There has been too many wonderful grandpa’s passing away recently, just breaks my heart. So thankful you had that last visit.

  4. Awe Laura this made me tear up! He sounds like an incredibly special man who's presence will most assuredly be missed. Grandparents are such a special kind of person and I am so glad you got to see him and he got to meet Kane before crossing over. No doubt he will continue to watch over you and your family for many years to come. xo

  5. I am SO sorry for your loss, Laura! He sounds like he was an amazing man! I'm so glad you were able to see him one more time! <3

  6. I am so sorry for you loss. Your visit is absolutely priceless.
    I hope your holiday is filled with many memories shared and glasses of bubbly raised in honor of your grandfather.

  7. Oh, I'm so sorry, Laura. Your grandfather sounds like he had such a sentimental and tender heart. I'm so glad you (and Kane) had a chance to see him during his final days. Wishing you special memories and healing during this holiday season. Hugs to you.


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