We had a midwife appointment today, with me being just over 13 weeks pregnant! I left the appointment with "all the feels". Lots of emotions. Lots of thoughts. And so I write.
First off, I love my midwife! She is practically Ina May, in such a sweet loving mother/grandmother way. Her knowledge about the woman's body, the baby, everything just amazes me! She has taught me more in a few appointments than any doctor or midwife ever has. Our appointments are always an hour long, so we truly get to know one another. The amount of personal care that goes into using a home birth midwife is so special & unique. I love that I have her available to me at all times. I can easily send off a quick text to her about any concerns. She is simply the best!
She is always very candid & open. Today I had a full exam, and we discussed my birth injuries from Liam's birth. There is physical as well as emotional damage, and this is something that I still struggle with. I have a lot of birth trauma from that whole experience. And while Finn's birth was incredibly healing, it doesn't erase the past. Unfortunately, pregnancy tends to bring out the birth trauma emotions each time. My midwife was the most honest anyone has ever been with me about my injuries, which was hard to hear. But I know talking it out is important, and that I do need to move on. Hopefully this third birth will be another healing experience. I trust my body and it's capabilities. And I'm thrilled to be able to have a home birth experience. It's something I have really wanted.
Since that was all a bit heavy, let's end on a happy note. The real highlight of the appointment was getting glimpse at our growing boy. Liam & Finn love being a part of the process. Helping turn on & off the doppler, getting to see the ultrasound. Their awe & understanding of it all is amazing. I posted a sweet video to Instagram if you have yet to see it. Finn's voice is the cutest thing ever; his excitement palpable as well as contagious. Liam is quiet, but that is so his personality. Just taking in the moment, sure to bombard me with thoughts & questions afterwards.
Seeing our baby, who seems huge already, was the best part of my day. It all just seems that much more real. He was a particularly active little guy, just like his brothers were. We are all so so excited to meet him!
Once again, thank you for all the sweet thoughts & comments about our growing family! I have had quite the range of emotions since finding out we are having another boy. I hope to gather all my thoughts in the next week and share a bit more about that. But today, I bring you some Friday Favorites. It's been awhile since I got one of these posts up, so let's get right to it...
I have been eyeing these Hanna Jams for awhile now! I don't think I've ever loved a pair of pajamas more. I keep holding back on a purchase since I'm not quite sure how they will accommodate a growing bump, but gosh I want them!
I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to decorate the new baby's nursery, but I have made the first purchase... I saw this print on a friend's instagram and fell in love. So I guess I start with this piece and let the rest of the room come together around it!
My stomach has been real rough this pregnancy and often I don't have an appetite. A friend gave me a pack of this gum, and it has actually helped a lot. The ginger flavor isn't too intense, but it does help settle me. So go grab a pack whether you are pregnant or not. And grab some cinnamon & mint while you are at it. I've seen the brand at Whole Foods as well as World Market.
I have book club tonight and couldn't be more pumped! Conor had work dinners on Wednesday & Thursday night, so I'm more than ready for a girl's night. Plus I loved the book, so I can't wait to discuss. I highly recommend it, Trail of Broken Wings; but before you check it out, a little trigger warning... the book is filled with abuse.
Other than book club, my weekend is wide open! I'm mostly looking forward to some big breakfasts (my favorite things when pregnant) and lots of extra sleep while Conor is home to help with the boys.
Thanks for all the sweet comments about our babe on the way! I have felt so loved & supported... all the warm & fuzzies! We found out way back in early December & have been celebrating ever since! I had a major feeling that I was pregnant when I cried through Liam's entire Christmas program. I just really felt pregnant! But it was a good three plus days later before a positive pregnancy would actually show up. Conor was flying home from a business trip the day I found out, and instead of waiting til that evening when I would see him in person, I texted him while he was in the air (and had wifi). I was just so excited & couldn't wait! We told the boys the following day together, which was just the sweetest thing. Lots of joy in our family right now! There have been plenty of questions from inquiring minds, so I thought I would doing a little FAQ session to give all the details thus far...
How far along are you? I'm 12 weeks! Official due date is August 27th. However, both boys were born exactly three days late, so I'm counting on this baby arriving on August 30th.
How are you feeling? Recently feeling better! Morning sickness set on the latest this pregnancy, holding off until 8 weeks. But 8-10 weeks was rough. Real rough. I wanted to lay in bed all day which just isn't feasible with two young boys around. 10-12 weeks the sickness was tolerable. Now I have some days where I actually feel great nearly all day. Evenings & nights are the worst. I often feel hungover, but I think the end is in sight. So ready to hit that pregnancy sweet spot.
Are you planning for another natural birth? Yes!!! In fact, this birth will be a homebirth. We love our midwife are really looking forward to being home. Liam is particularly excited too, as he was not a fan of me staying in the hospital (even for one night) last time!
Will you find out the gender? Yes!!! In fact, we already know! We did the early blood test at 10 weeks. We're still sharing the news with family friends, and then I will share here probably later this week.
Will this pregnancy be as active as your previous ones? No. A big fat no, unfortunately. My kids hate the gym daycare, and I don't want to make they go somewhere they are unhappy. So I haven't been in the gym since Finn was born. So no running, no swimming. However, I do like to think of myself as an active person with an active lifestyle. We hike, we ski, etc. So I'll be plenty of busy just keeping up with my boys, but I won't be logging 5 mile runs well into the third trimester this time. And if I'm being honest, I'm completely terrified of gaining tons of weight this pregnancy, since I won't be working out on a regular basis.
Will you be in your new house before baby arrives? Hopefully! We are currently on track to be in about a month before my due date. I would much rather move pregnant than with a newborn! I'm not really stressed about this at all currently, we'll see how I feel in a few months. And since we are having a homebirth, I would really love to be in our new home, but I know that may not happen.
Is this pregnancy similar to your other two? For the most part. It's definitely been my most difficult though. I've far sicker than I was with the previous too, but it's looking like it's going to last the shortest amount of time. So yay for that! It's also been harder in other ways.... just more aches & pains already. Not sure if that is a third pregnancy thing or if it is because of my age. While I'm only 31, I am a whole 6 years older than I was the first time around!
Are you still nursing Finn? Yes! However, I really started to encourage some gentle weaning about a month ago when I started feeling horribly sick. We're down to just nursing at nap time, bedtime, and about twice during the night. Those night feedings will be the next to go. My plan is that this will be a slow, gentle process for him and that we will be completely down once my milk dries up. I'm anticipating that will happen within the next month.
Are the boys excited? Yes!!! Finn understands far more than I ever expected, mostly because he learns from Liam. Liam is completely involved, always wanting to know how big the baby is and how it is currently growing. He loves looking at pictures of he & Finn as babies. I showed him a picture of a baby in the womb who was just developing his fingers & toes and he exclaimed "that is the cutest thing I have ever seen!" His excitement & joy are so contagious. He is constantly telling me how much he loves this baby already. I love sharing this experience with him!
Did you need fertility drugs and/or hormones again? No!!! This was our first baby to be conceived without drugs nor hormones. It was amazing for me to have my body do what it should. This was also the quickest we ever conceived. We were blessed with that positive pregnancy test about 4 months after we started trying!
Thanks for sharing in our excitement. I'm not exactly sure how I will track/share this pregnancy, but you can at least count on it being heavily photographed. There may not be weekly bumpdates this go around, but I will figure out something! Now it's way past my new 8pm bedtime, so off to dreamland!